Justify this Cost
by Raven Sinead
Summary: A companion piece to "Light of a New Sun". I promised I'd stay beside you...and then fate took me away. But I'm coming back. I'm coming back because I have to believe that there's more in this world than the wars we fight. Wars end. We go on. FemShep/Kaidan one-shot.


Disclaimer: All characters and scenarios belong to BioWare. I own nothing.

* * *

**Kaidan Alenko**

I had not slept for forty-eight hours. I had allowed Chakwas to give me no pain medication for my injuries, and I could feel the burning discomfort in every movement of my body. Even blinking hurt. I did not care. I remained standing in the CIC as the Normandy limped home. Back to Earth. Back to where destruction reigned and chaos had come to settle.

Sparks still flashed from the naked, hastily repaired wiring. I could see the interior of the ship where several of the panels had fallen during the crash. But the engineers had made her space-worthy again, and nothing would stand between us and our destination.

"We're almost there, Major." Joker spoke over the comms. "I'm going to need all available power to boost the shields. Otherwise she won't hold through the atmosphere."

My throat grew tight. Re-routing the power would mute what limited communications were available. I had survived the last hours through sheer determination, too much caffeine, and the sporadic updates supplied by Liara and the Shadow Broker network. One of her agents had survived the devastating battle and reported in as often as possible…not often enough.

I curled my hand into a fist, knowing what I had to do.

"Do what you need to, Joker." I gave the order, knowing that soon the ship would go dark, and my hope might be severed.

I tore myself away from the CIC, pressing a hand to the throbbing wound in my side, feeling the cool metal of the staples that held my skin together. I forced myself to walk to the cockpit, to look through the window at the planet Earth. From space, it seemed serene, unravaged by war. For a moment, looking at it from the peace of space, I could pretend.

* * *

_"Three weeks of shore leave." Shepard walks to me as we stand on the Citadel, watching as the rebuilding efforts continue. _

_ The Keepers had begun repairing the damage caused by Sovereign and Saren almost immediately, their efficiency eerie and somewhat discomfiting. We still did not understand how their programming worked, or what their true purpose was, or whether or not we could trust them. But we could not deny that they work they did was necessary. _

_ "What the hell are we going to do with ourselves?" Aeryn wonders, pushing her good right hand through her raven hair. Her left arm is still in a sling. Best to err on the side of caution, the doctors had said. They couldn't risk permanent injury to the Savior of the Citadel. _

_ "I haven't really thought about it, to be honest." I answer, averting my gaze from her and back to the work of the Keepers. It seems safer…because when I look at her I fall into her eyes, and I do not know if I am welcome there anymore. _

_ We had spent the night together before going to Ilos. After that, it had been all a smear of bloodshed, battle, fighting for survival, and then the great calm. The dinners, the politics, the interviews. Utter and complete madness. We'd had no time to talk about what happened between us, and she had enough clouding her thoughts already. As much as I want to ask, I refrain, for her sake. _

_ "I know how you feel." Aeryn turns around and leans on the railing. "I don't think I've slept more than three hours a night since Ilos. Always something to do, some call coming in, some public appearance to make or briefing to attend. What about you? Thinking of going home? Seeing your family?"_

_ "It would be nice to go back to earth." I reply, remembering the message I had received from my father. "I haven't seen my parents in a couple of years. They're not exactly fans of space travel anymore."_

_ Aeryn nods. "I can understand that."_

_ "What about you?" I wonder, trying not to show how eager I am to hear her answer, attempting not to blurt the invitation on the tip of my tongue. Because I do not know who I was to her that night on Ilos. I do not know who I am to her now.  
_

_**It was the single greatest night of my life**__, a rush of heat flows through me, __**but she's Commander Freaking Shepard. Savior of the Citadel. And her reputation is so important right now. She's better off not letting rumors start that she's shacking up with her LT.**_

_ "Don't know." she answers, looking into some distance, some place where I can't join her, and can't understand entirely. _

_ "You're not going to…" I pause, hoping that I am not overstepping my boundaries, "…not going to see your mom or anything?"_

_ She laughs, but it's dark and almost frightening. "Tear Admiral Hannah Shepard away from her command for more than a five minute vid-call?" her tone becomes bitter. "Destroying Sovereign was easier than that would be."_

_ My heart goes out to her, but I'm still not sure it's welcome. The words of comfort I want to say do not come. Instead, the __**stupid**__ invitation leaps off of my lips. "You should come to earth with me." I offer, blanching as my mind realizes what I've just said. _

_ I wait for her legendary anger to cloud those sky-blue eyes, for the lines of her face to harden and the muscle in her jaw to jump. But none of that happens. Instead, her expression softens, her eyes lift to mine, and the voice that brought Saren to his knees leaves her lips in a breathy whisper. _

_ "I've never been to earth." she sounds wistful, hesitant, and my heart begins thundering in my chest. _

_ "Three weeks of shore leave." I stutter, knowing I sound like an absolute idiot. "That's a lot of time to sightsee."_

_ She smiles, but I don't know if it's in derision or not. "I'll think about it. How's that sound?"_

_ For me, that mere gesture is enough to make the last day of work before shore leave seem like a triviality. "I'll look forward to your answer." I reply, and she smiles again, pushing away from the railing and returning back to the ambassador's office._

* * *

The planet grew closer as Joker deftly weaved through the chunks of debris flying through space at breakneck speeds. My gut churned as I saw pieces of once powerful Alliance dreadnaughts hurtling through the void, never to be stopped, never to be collected and remembered. We had lost so much. All of us.

I looked back at the CIC, to the human and alien members of our crew who had begun filtering in as the interior lighting of the ship dimmed with Joker's re-routing of the power. Javik was conspicuously missing, but his absence did not bother me. Though he had been a valuable asset…his effect on morale was not what we needed in this tense, fraught moment.

Garrus' mandibles twitched but he held himself firm and stoic, a credit to his bearing and race. Tali paced back and forth, muttering what seemed like prayers in the quarian language. Liara leaned against the wall, looking pale, her arms crossed over her middle, her head down.

Palavan had been ravaged, Thessia brought low, and we still did not know if Rannoch could be restored. All of them had lost as much as we had. I thought of those who should be here with us in this grim victory. Mordin Solus, who had given his life for the krogan, undoing a mistake made in fear. Thane Krios, whose last words had been a prayer for my lover's soul.

"Everyone, brace yourselves." Joker warned. "Breaching atmosphere in three…two…one."

The ship shuddered and groaned as we entered earth's atmosphere and every eye closed in supplication to every deity that our ship, almost home, would safely arrive. I kept my own eyes open. We had fought too hard to be turned away now.

* * *

_"What's going on, chief?" Shepard asks as we enter the weapons bay, armored and ready to deploy down to Feros. _

_ Ashley Williams rises from her knees and removes a beaded necklace from around her hand, placing it around her neck and kissing the cross that dangles from it before tucking it inside her armor. _

_ "Just praying, Skipper." she replies. _

_ Shepard makes a scoffing noise deep in her throat. "Don't see how praying is going to do us any good in a firefight." she mutters. _

_ "It can't do any harm, can it?" Ashley asks, though she seems not at all offended. _

_ I have always envied Williams' composure around the commander. Even when she's being cursed out or questioned, Ashley has this calm about her that I admire. I wonder, briefly, if this aspect of her character dwells in her faith. I, like the commander, question the existence of some benevolent, all powerful force. _

_ "I guess not." Shepard admits. "I just don't see the point of praying to a god that obviously hates us."_

_ "I respectfully disagree, ma'am." Ashley replies, unflappable as ever as she checks over her weapons one last time. "If God hated us, there wouldn't be love in the world. Last I checked, that's still a thing."_

_ I look to Aeryn, knowing that Ashley can see me, and that my expression is transparent as hell. I can't lie about it. Nor do I want to. After Eden Prime, Therum, and Noveria…I know I've fallen hard for the commander. But she hasn't let on, not given me any hint if she feels the same. But I search her eyes now, wondering if she can even believe in something like love anymore, or if her shields are too strong even for that. _

_ Shepard laughs. "Just when I think I have you figured out, you throw me a curveball, Ash. I'll shut up now."_

_ And somewhere, deep in my chest, a fire starts burning. Because Commander Shepard silenced and a dim light entered those often frigid, sky-blue eyes. A light that gives me hope._

* * *

"Goddess." Liara breathed as we flew over the wasteland of the battlefield.

My heart ached as I saw the twisted metal of buildings, the abandoned tanks, the streets littered with the dead. For a moment, I let myself be a coward, thinking how easy it would have been to stay on that beautiful planet where we had crashed. To stay away from the horrors of war and give ourselves time to heal. I stood straighter, shaking off those thoughts.

This was not meant to be easy. And I could not be weak. Somewhere, on the surface of this planet, the woman I loved might be dying. The woman who had given everything she had, and then yet more, might pay the ultimate price, and I had to be there…to prove that a questionable god did not hate her.

_Last I checked, that's still a thing. _

I smiled as I remembered Ashley's confidence in that statement. I wished she were with us now, with her devil-may-care attitude, her warrior's spirit, and the beauty of the poetry she could pull from her mind to always suit the situation. She had tempered Aeryn when I could not, because Williams had retained something as a soldier that Aeryn had come close to forgetting.

How to be gentle. How to remember what lives meant. The gunnery chief had lived and died, reminding the Butcher of Torfan that soldiers were not simply tools. I owed Ashley Williams a debt I could never repay…because, had she not lived in the manner she had, or died for the lives of others, I did not think Aeryn Shepard would have ever lowered her walls and allowed me in.

"There." Garrus broke my concentration, pointing out something on the horizon. "That tent. It's the Fifth Fleet flag beside it. They'll know where she is."

"Bring her down, Joker." I ordered.

"Aye-aye, Major." the pilot replied.

The Normandy lowered to the ground and I looked at the crew, wondering what I should say to them. I wasn't Shepard, or Ashley. I did not have the words at my command. All I had was a heart about to beat out of my chest and a fear about to swallow me alive.

"Go, Major Alenko." Karin Chakwas strode forward. "You have your needs, and Earth needs our help. Joker, I need power routed back to the med-bay. All aboard who are not injured, go out and find the wounded and transport them here. Engineers, go and find where you can be of use. So much here is broken…we must mend what we can."

I stood still, in awe of this career physician, who had been our lifeline so many times. Even though it hurt, I slowly moved to the position of attention and saluted Karin Chakwas. We had fought for the galaxy. She had fought for us…time and time again.

* * *

_"How is she?" I ask, attempting to move past the mountain of a medic that is Drew Abernathy. "Please, I need to see her."_

_ "She's in good hands." Drew's deep baritone does nothing to soothe me as a cry of anguish ripples across the med-bay. "You being here is not helping. Calm down, Major."_

_ "Don't you fucking tell me to calm down, Sergeant!" I shout, at my wit's end. _

_**This is all my fault. If I had listened…been just a minute sooner…if I had stepped a foot to the left…**_

_"Goddammit, Karin!" I hear Shepard's voice, harsh and full of pain, but too breathy, too labored. "Please just fucking __**stop! Please!**__"_

_ All the blood rushes from my face as I hear those words. Aeryn Shepard does not cry in pain. She doesn't ask for anything, no matter how terrible, to cease. She sits, stoic and serene, even if she's bleeding out. I have seen it more times than I want. But this time is different and it cuts into my very soul. _

_ "Commander, hold still this instant." Chakwas orders. _

_ "Let me in, Drew." my voice is ice even though my heart is bleeding. _

_ "Major, I've already…"_

_ "Let him in, Abernathy!" Chakwas snaps, and immediately the mountain of a man turns aside and I rush into the med-bay, choking on my heart as I see Aeryn. _

_ Her blood soaked under-armor is laying on the ground like a sick flag of surrender. Her body is shaking on the bio-bed, violent tremors that make it impossible for the doctor to set up an IV, which Aeryn desperately needs. Blood is smeared across her torso in orange-red swaths, it streams out of the bullet hole in her side at an alarming rate. The area around the wound is bright red, scorched, the skin blackening as it chars from the inside out. I fight down nausea and tears. _

_**Why did I believe Udina?**__ I chastised myself. __**Why did I stand and defend him in front of her? Why didn't I move when he pulled that gun…why didn't I take the bullet? How in the hell could I have been so fucking stupid!?  
**_

_ "What can I do?" I ask Karin as I move to Shepard, staring at her face, far too pale and covered in sweat. "Karin, what can I do to help?"_

_ Shepard's hand reaches up and grabs my shirt and I force my eyes to hers, terrified as I see tears streaming down them. Aeryn Shepard does not cry. Not from pain. _

_ "You…fucking…asshole." she spits, and there is venom in her words even as her voice weakens and she begins coughing. _

_ I move my hand to the back of her neck to support her as she coughs and screams in choked gasps of pain. My body goes numb as I see flecks of blood appear on her lips, as the paroxysm intensifies until she forces herself to sit up and leans forward. The coughing ceases but her back ripples and she lets out a gut-wrenching groan as blood pours from between her lips and slides down her chin. Then the tremors begin again. _

_ "Kaidan, put her in a biotic stasis, __**now**__." Chakwas demands. _

_ I follow orders as I always have and surround Aeryn in the blue energy, holding her still so that Chakwas can save the life from the wounds I should have been able to prevent. The doctor calls Abernathy, and both of them take her arms, sliding needles beneath the skin and attaching an IV near each elbow. _

_ "Start the transfusion." Karin orders the medic as she hangs a liter of saline. "Alenko, hand me that syringe."_

_ I do as she asks, lifting it with my biotics and floating it to her hands. Karin depresses it, removing the air, and I see a cool blue gel slide from the tip of the needle. _

_ "What is that?" I ask. _

_ "Friyaridine." Chakwas answers. "It neutralizes the chemicals inside an incendiary round."_

_ "Oh god." I gasp, realizing now why it looks like Shepard is burning alive. She is. _

_ I attempt to control the nausea welling inside my gut as Chakwas inserts the needle into the bullet wound and injects the neutralizing agent. Abernathy hangs two pints of blood from another stand and opens the line as wide as it will go, allowing fresh blood to replace all that Aeryn has lost. _

_ Chakwas reaches for another syringe, clearing it before she depresses it into Shepard's IV. "You can let go now, Major." she says, and I drop the biotic stasis, wrapping my arm around Shepard's back as she begins to collapse onto the bio-bed. _

_ Her eyes meet mine and I expect anger: pure, justifiable anger. It is not there. Instead, there is a sense of relief behind the wells of pain. Her bloodied lips curve upwards in the weakest, most beautiful smile I have ever seen. _

_ "You…get it now?" she rasps, and I know all that she asks. _

_**Do you trust me? Do you believe me? Can you understand at last that my loyalties were never divided? Will your anger finally die?**_

_"I do." I promised, shocked as I feel tears sliding down my cheeks. "Aeryn, I do."_

_ "Then…I...forgive you." she breathes, her eyelids fluttering as the anesthesia begins to take hold. "Stay." she mumbles. "On the Normandy. 'Kay?"_

_ "I won't leave." I swear, running my hand through her sweat-soaked hair, pressing my lips to her forehead. "I'll never leave you again. I love you, Aeryn. I never stopped loving you."_

_ She cannot hear me now, but I needed to say those words; needed others to hear them. Chakwas rests her hand on my shoulder and I understand. I need to leave. I need to leave so that she can fight for the woman we both love._

* * *

The air hit me with the force of a fetid hurricane. The heat staggered me and sweat broke out on my forehead as I began walking towards the tent, ignoring the flares of pain from my wounds. The stench overwhelmed me. The dusky, acrid smell of smoke, the iron scent of blood, the grotesque odor of death and decay hanging heavy in the humid air.

I opened the tent flap and ducked inside, raising my hands as three rifles were trained on me.

"Stand down." I heard a calm, exhausted voice, and looked at the figure behind the desk. Admiral Stephen Hackett met my gaze. He looked as if he had aged a century in the course of the three, almost four days we had been gone. "Major Alenko…we had reports that the Normandy was missing in action. I feared the worst."

"We outran the Crucible when it fired." I explained, forgetting entirely to render the ranking officer a salute. "And crash landed on an unknown planet. Fortunately, we were able to repair the Normandy and make her space-worthy. At least enough to make it here…I apologize for taking so long, sir."

"No need, major." Hackett offered me a weary smile. "Your arrival here has been the first _good_ thing that's happened since that damn beam fired."

I nodded. "Sir, with all due respect, I'd like nothing more than to give you a full recounting and receive a debriefing but…"

Hackett lifted a hand. "I understand, major." he nodded his head and turned to his lieutenant. "Take messages for me and hold down the fort. I'll be back as soon as I can." he sighed and his shoulders slumped. "It is very important, paramount in fact, that we remember what it means to be human. Especially at a tie like this. Follow me, Alenko. I'll take you to her."

* * *

_"It's all so much." Aeryn whispers, watching the goldfish swim through the waters of the aquarium. "I feel like a hamster on a wheel, just running, hell bent for leather, and not able to change anything. When we get to the Cerberus base…will anything have changed, or will I be too many steps behind, like we have been this entire damn time?"_

_ "We'll be on time." I attempt to soothe her. "We have to be."_

_ She turns to face me and I want to take her in my arms. She seems so small, so pale. She's lost so much weight, and I can see every line of powerful muscle clearly defined. Backlit by the aquarium, she is a silhouette of strength run ragged, power rubbed raw, intensity burning out. _

_ "Spoken like a true damn soldier." she tries to smile, but it doesn't strike her eyes. "A soldier like we all should be. I feel lost, Kaidan. Right now I feel naked because I'm not holding a gun. That's not…normal. I don't even feel human anymore."_

_ My eyes begin to burn. I know her well. I love her deeply. And I can hear in her words what she will never say. The weight of the galaxy is becoming too great a burden. She is faltering beneath it. And she needs someone. Someone who will remind her of her humanity, who will remind her of who she is…someone who will carry her while she bears the galaxy on her shoulders. _

_ I open my arms and step closer to her. "Come here, Goldfish." I whisper. _

_ She enters my embrace and I wrap my arms around her, feeling the solid lines of her body, the evident strength that all the world sees and cries out for as the world crumbles. Beneath it, I feel the exhausted tremors of her muscles, a body attempting to force itself to be more than what she fears she is forgetting. More than human. _

_ I reach up and move my hand through her raven tresses. A sigh of contentment from her makes me smile and I feel the heat of her breath through my shirt. I move my hand from her hair and tuck my finger beneath her chin, lifting her face to mine, pressing my lips against hers. Aeryn's arms reach up and wrap around my neck. _

_ And the woman who never fears, who never breaks, speaks without words as her lips become hungry. She takes my lower lip between her teeth and pulls at it. I lean into the kiss, devouring her, running my hands up her sides and back down, grasping the hem of her shirt, tugging in a plea for permission as our tongues battle and dance. _

_ She nods and I almost tear the shirt off of her, feeling a hot surge of desire through my body as I worship her with my eyes, taking in the expanse of her almost alabaster skin, the scars that mark her as a warrior, the tight peaks of her nipples, her breasts heaving with her deep breaths. _

_ I reach out and take her by the hips, pulling her to me, kissing her again, feeling her hands grasp my shirt and pull it upwards. I assist her and fling the shirt to the floor, then grasp her around her back and under her knees, lifting her in my arms and carrying her to the bed. I set her down gently, covering her body with my own, running my lips down the taut lines of her neck, tasting her sweat, savoring her skin and the soft moans that leave her lips as I work my way down. _

_ I run my tongue along the sensitive line of her collarbone and she gasps, the sound of her pleasure heightening my arousal. An insistent throb beats between my legs and I know that I am ready. All it takes from her is a touch, a word, and this gift…the gift of her trust, her heart, and her body humbles me. Her hands curl into my hair as I close my lips around a tight pink nipple, laving the pebbled skin with my tongue as my pants become too tight...man's oldest urge pounding through my blood. _

_ "Yes." Shepard whispers as I rise from her breast, lowering my mouth to its twin as my fingers caress the one my lips abandoned. "Oh, Kaidan." her hips lift and press against mine and I groan as sensation shatters me, as I ache to be one with her, inside her, joining together in a dance as old as time. _

_ Her hands are on my back now, her nails biting into my skin as I begin to trace lower with my lips, across the tight bundles of muscle in her abdomen, across the wicked scar left by Udina's bullet. I bite the thinner skin across her hipbone and she gasps, a sweet music that quickens the beating of my heart. _

_ Her hands reach for the button of her pants and I look up, into the bright blue eyes that have held me captive for years. "Aeryn," I whisper, "I love you. So much. Please…I want nothing more than to be with you. May I?"_

_ "You dear man." she smiles, and it reaches her eyes, and my heart soars. "Yes. Always, yes."_

_ With that, both of us make quick work of the rest of our clothing, letting it fall where it may as skin meets skin. I pull her to me, running my hand down her neck, over her breasts, along her side and thigh as I kiss her with as much passion as I am able to impart. I want her to take what strength I can give, to find comfort in my love and adoration of her. I want to convey the depths of my very soul, because soon, for better or worse, the war will end. _

_ Gentle, but not teasing, I move my hand between her legs, groaning as I feel the hair there tickle my fingers when I find the slickness beneath. Her body is ready, her heart is needing, and I want nothing more than to give. I move to my knees as she lies down on her back and I lean down, cupping the back of her neck, kissing her as I pull a pillow underneath her head. She reclines against it and I move over her, pressing my chest to hers as I reach down, guiding myself to her entrance. _

_ I moan as I enter her, feeling our bodies connect and our hearts join as I raise myself on my hands and begin to move, gentle, insistent. Her cheeks flush and she bites her lip as her hips rise to meet mine, a counterpoint of give and receive as our bodies rejoice in a union too long denied by war and sorrow and running through the galaxy like madmen. _

_ I keep control of myself, denying the urge to take her entirely. Instead, I keep a slow pace, feeling the joy of pleasurable exertion, savoring every moan and hitched breath that leaves her lips. I look down and our eyes lock together as we move in concert, each driving each other to new heights of pleasure. _

_ "I love you, Aeryn Shepard." I whisper as I lean down, kissing her, taking her tongue into my mouth and stroking it with my own as I bury myself deep in her, pinning her hips to the mattress as I push deeper and deeper, until I hear that sharp intake of breath that signals me that I have found where she needs me most. _

_ I move my weight to my elbows, feeling her nipples slide against my chest, inspiring more pleasure in both of us as we join between legs and with lips, our eyes closed to the world, to the mission, locked in this room where it is just us. Aeryn Shepard and Kaidan Alenko. Alone in the galaxy. Making love in the stars. _

_ Her breathing turns harsh and I increase my rhythm, denying my body its desires until her own needs are met. I shudder as I feel her walls clench and tighten, the first wave of bliss. I balance myself on one elbow and warp my arm around her back, pulling myself deeper into her with every thrust, sweating as I bite back my own fulfillment. _

_ "Please." I whisper against her ear. "Let me give you this. I love you, Aeryn."_

_ A strangled sob flies from her lips and I groan as I feel her muscles ripple and tighten against me, as her entire body shakes with release too long denied. I kiss her everywhere, her lips, her eyes, her forehead, her ears, rejoicing in our union even as my own body throbs with its needs. I wait until her eyes open, beautiful and weary, but she blinks slowly, smiles, and I at last give into myself, driving into her until I release, with a shout that I wish could be a love song. _

_ I collapse on top of her as my body weakens, as that divine exhaustion takes hold. Her arms wrap around my back as I lay panting on her chest, kissing her lovely breasts, tasting my very life in the flavor of her skin. I move off of her and she turns to her side, and fits her body to mine. I wrap an arm around her waist and kiss her neck. Her eyes close and I know that no words are needed now. _

_ We are human. We are not immune to the tragedy that surrounds us, the horrors that greet us, the nightmares that bind us. But we are still human. We still love._

* * *

Hackett stopped outside of another tent. I stared at it, aghast, hoping that this was not our destination. The woman who had saved the galaxy should not be here in something like this. She should be in a state of the art medical facility, in a soft bed surrounded by all the comforts we could offer. Not in a goddamn tent in the harsh heat drowning in the stench of the battlefield.

Hackett read my expression. "I don't like it either, Alenko." he said. "But the harsh truth of it is…" he stopped speaking and gathered his composure, "…we found her in the wreckage of the Citadel. Barely alive. She almost didn't survive the shuttle to earth, and she's too unstable to move. We've made her as comfortable as we can, and she's got the best doctors the Alliance has to offer."

"What…" I struggled to find my military bearing, "…how bad is it, sir?"

"It's bad, son." he answered. "We have no idea what went on up there, but she's got third degree burns on her legs, stomach, and back. The doctors had to cut away the armor that had melted into her skin."

I felt sick and Hackett must have seen, because he rested his hand on my shoulder. "Go on." I told him, even though I was shaking.

"Three bullet wounds." he replied, honoring my wishes. "One to the thigh, one to the abdomen, and one to the chest, right side. It broke four ribs and punctured her lung. The doctors said it's a miracle she's alive. I told them I'm waiting for my men to bring me the Grim Reaper's body…because I'm fairly certain Shepard kicked death's ass."

I laughed at the Admiral's words, because the humor was dark, and suited to a time like this. "Sound about right." I smiled, though I was certain it did not look at all brave.

"She looks bad." Hackett said. "And she's on a respirator to give the lung time to heal. But she's still in one piece. Go inside, Major. Take all the time you need."

"Thank you, sir." I replied, at last remembering to salute the admiral.

Hackett returned it and walked back to his command center. I steeled myself and entered the tent. Tears ran down my face as I looked at the broken body of the woman I loved. My Valkyrie. The oxygen mask obscured her features, and the rhythmic, hissing sound of the respirator tore at my heart. I walked to her bedside, my lips trembling as I saw the evident damage.

Her face was mottled with bruises, her eyes swollen shut. A deep gash ran from her hairline, through her left eyebrow, down to her cheek. Beneath the oxygen mask I could see a line of stitches through her bottom lip...a line that went down to her stubborn chin.

She was covered in tubes and leads attached to machines and monitors that were keeping her alive, and even though a cooling unit in the corner of the tent battled the heat, her brow was sheened with sweat. Her arms lay outside the blanket, bruised from the battle and the countless injections and IVs. Her hands were bandaged, but not broken.

I leaned down and kissed her hair, perhaps the only part of her that had remained intact. I felt tears on my face once more.

"I'm here, Goldfish." I whispered, noticing that the somewhat erratic heart rate on the monitor began to steady. "We all made it." I told her, feeling that she could hear me. "You saved us all, Aeryn." I breathed. "I love you, and I'm not leaving you. We'll finish this fight together."

_If God hated us, there wouldn't be love in the world. Last I checked, that's still a thing._

I knelt beside Shepard's bed, closed my eyes, laced my hands together and placed them in my lap. "I don't know if you can hear me, Ash." I whispered, praying for the first time in my life. "But…but if you can hear me…Aeryn and I could use a miracle. We've all lost so much…so…if you don't mind…make this all make sense. Justify this cost. Because last I checked, you were right. Love is still a thing."

* * *

_**Author's Note: **Hello all! And thank you for reading this one-shot. I promised a continuation a while back to my amazingly supportive friend, Heather Fries, and I finally had time to make good on my word. So I hope that she approves, and I want to thank anyone else who took the time to read this little contribution.  
_

_Bright Blessings,_

_~Raven_


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